I was really looking forward to writing my letter tonight.. but I don’t have any internet friends :(
I don’t know why you keep coming around all of a sudden. I thought you were gone. I thought I was done caring about you. You’re not even a good guy. Look at what you did to get me in the first place. Look at what you did after you were with me. I should hate you. I have every right to. And now you’re trying to come back. I shouldn’t even give you anything close to that option. But I guess I will. Talk about bad timing.. or who knows, maybe it’s perfect.
Dreams,
I wish I could have more of you. I wish I had time to fall asleep and drift away. But here I am at around seven o’clock am tossing and turning still and ending myself up on tumblr. I can’t handle this anymore, maybe I have too much on my mind. At this point in my life with everything that has been occurring, I bet you’d be really interesting right now. You’d give me something to wake up to and think about all day long until I finally think I may have figured you out. Come back, dreams. I would really like to see you again.
Ryan,
My entire life you never, ever wanted anything to do with me. I always wanted to have that protective, caring, older brother. But all you ever did was push me away. I’m happier than ever that that is finally beginning to change. We can sit down at a table and have a conversation, no yelling.. for the first time ever. You’ll never know how great that makes me feel. I’m really going to miss when I leave, and surprisingly, I actually think you may miss me too.
Mom,
You are the strongest person I know. The way you handle all your problems and just keep on going. You work so hard to give me and Ryan everything you can. I know times are tough, but you deserve way better, and i know you’ll get everything you want. Sorry about the way i’ve been acting. Maybe it’s just my way of handling me leaving soon. I’m going to miss you so much. I love you.
Dad,
This one will be short. Thanks for teaching me to never trust anyone. Ever. I’d say I wish things were different, but I really don’t care anymore. That is all.
